June 22, 2007

So People Actually Read This Site

Posted in Lessons Learned, Office Hijinks at 6:39 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

Last week I wrote about 57 Hottie feeling pretty confident that it would be almost impossible for anyone to know who I was talking about.  I mean first you would need to know where I worked.  Then you would need to know where the 57 ran, what time I rode it, who else from my firm takes it, and on and on.   

So there I am, standing on the platform of the blue line, rocking out to Gwen Steffani when I should be listening to my French lessons when I notice that 57 Hottie has joined me, standing a bit closer than usual.  At that moment it occurs to me that he is the only other person who could possibly know his true identity.  This fills me with dread for a moment, then I smiled.   

When I am writing these posts I assume, despite all evidence to the contrary,  that the only people who actually read this blog are my family, my friends, my editor and now the two people that don’t think I’m funny.  All the other hits are from people who found this by mistake. 

I let out a big sigh of relief and started to wonder if anyone has a secret nickname for me along the lines of 57 Hottie.  After all, there he was, innocent to all my secret, private thoughts that I share with all my readers, but never him.  Maybe he has secret thoughts about me.  Or about that other girl that rides the bus with the way cooler haircut.  And maybe, while I am wondering what he is thinking about, and he is wondering what she is thinking about, some else, someone I haven’t even noticed yet, is wondering what I am thinking about.       

And just as I start to shake these crazy thoughts from my head and turn my attention back to my iPod, I saw it.  Our eyes met, and he smirked at me.  A definite, honest to god smirk and the whole platform started spinning and the vision at the corners of my eyes started to get fuzzy.

I managed to get on the train, with 57 Hottie right behind me.  It was simple, I would just tap him on his back and tell him that what I write is in character and that it isn’t so much that I think he is hot as it is just that, compared to everyone else on the bus he’s hot.  Not that he’s not hot.  I’m just trying to say that it would obviously never work out for us.  Not that there is anything to work out.  It’s just that he is short.  Well, no, not short.  He is exactly as tall as me, maybe an inch or two taller.  But I just bought these really great platform wedges and since those would make me taller than him, plus the whole working together thing and then the he’s an attorney thing, you can see where I am going with this, right?    

I sucked my cheeks in and bit down on my tongue until I tasted blood fearful that I would start to try to explain myself and not be able to stop.  That I would say things completely inappropriate to say on a crowded train to someone who may or may not know that I not so secretly (anymore) refer to him as 57 Hottie.  I closed my eyes and convinced myself that either a) I was mistaken and he didn’t smirk at me or b) his smirk did not necessarily mean he reads my mind.     

I got off the train, walked behind him all the way to the office and because god hates me, got in the exact same elevator as him.  By the time it stopped on my floor my face was tomato read, clashing with the peach sweater I choose to wear that day, and sweat was pouring down my back.  

It’s a good thing I don’t have a crush on him anymore and that I have this blog to flush him out.

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10 Comments »

  1. Legal Blog Surfer said,

    Decided to give your blog one more look. The verdict: Get over yourself, honey! I’m surfin’ in more interesting – and entertaining – waters from now on…

  2. Sniff.

  3. B1ue said,

    You know, I’m actually somewhat impressed by you, Mr or Ms Legal Blog Surfer. It isn’t everyday I see someone manage to transcribe sass. I can almost see your two snaps high in the air and the bit of twirl you’d do as you walked away, having shone Miss Thang here how you felt.

    I like reading this blog. It gives me a nice preview of the kind of person I might wind up being in five to ten years.

  4. Lowly first-year said,

    Ouch, little baby Blue. Nice little backward stab there.

  5. Devil's Angel said,

    Why is everyone being rude to ‘Devil Wears’? I enjoy reading her blog and what secretary hasn’t had fantasies about being saved and having her status elevated by the unattainable attorney? Keep writin’ Devil Wears. Your rock!

  6. Caroline said,

    Umm…attorneys are unattainable? That smacks of bullshit.

  7. DA — I really do appreciate you coming to my defense, but truth be told I don’t fantasize about attorneys saving me from my humdrum life. Now Prince William, absolutely. I mean I am at least as cute as that Kate What’s-Her-Face.

  8. WildwoodGrl said,

    Oh, my God, anyone who works in a law firm can so relate to what the Devil writes. Could you possibly work at my office? I mean, some of the descriptions sound so familiar.

  9. Jenifer said,

    Blue,

    Five to ten years? Really? Yeah, sweetie, your disdain for entertainment and young women tells me you’re pushing the end of your childbearing years…

  10. Stephanie said,

    Well, *I* think you’re funny. I have you saved to my favorites and check in a couple of times a month. Your site was brought to my attention by a paralegal friend.

    Your blog reminds me of when I was single and used to work in the city (Both Philly and NYC) for Big Corporate. You are not alone! It was all the same for me, too. Now I work out in the suburbs and am married to a lawyer, so I can vicariously relate to a lot of the law stuff.

    Keep blogging. Please.


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