June 14, 2007

My Magic iMac

Posted in Office Hijinks at 5:20 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

I vaguely remember a Friday night television show of horror stories for the pre-teen viewer.  I can’t remember the name of this show but it was out right around the time it was really popular to write pre-teen horror fiction.  Well, maybe it is still really popular to write mystery/horror fiction for pre-teenagers, but I digress. 

One episode I remember pretty clearly involved a young boy finding an old typewriter in his grandfather’s attic and deciding that he was going to be a mystery writer.  The twist was that everything he wrote came true.  And since, like any good writer, he was using his friends and family loosely disguised as characters, his friends and family all met with calamity and horrific fates.

Now a few years back I had started to work on a novel and in that novel was a character loosely based on a former roommate, except my character was a lesbian.  A year and a half later I my former (straight) roommate introduced me to her new girlfriend.  I laughed at the coincidence.

Then, when pretending to work on the same piece of fiction, I decided that another character, who was based on another friend, should cheat on her husband.  After all, no reader was going to believe that anyone was that happily married.  Less than a month after I typed the plot line my good friend called to tell my about the trouble in her marriage. The trouble had a boy’s name. 

Another coincidence?  Possibly.  But just in case I replaced my old iMac with a better newer version.  Well, okay, I had to replace my iMac as it was on its last leg, but still the timing couldn’t have been better. 

Why am I bringing all this up now?  Well, it would seem that my new Apple is still cursed, although how deep this curse runs and who its victim is, is not all that clear. 

I am once again facing down the task of re-writing attorney biographies.  Now, before you skim down to the bottom to see if I jokingly wrote of someone’s untimely demise just days before it actually occurred, that is not what I am about to tell you.  My life can be horrific at times, but it isn’t that bad.

So there I am, innocently reviewing biographies for glaring errors when what to my wondering eyes should appear but a really bad picture of 57 Hottie.  This couldn’t be.  Not only was 57 Hottie an attorney, but now I worked with him.  That’s two rules, people.  He may as well be from Michigan, although judging by his profile my guess is he is not.  Tears welled up in my eyes.  I clicked off his profile.  It was all just too much. 

After emailing all my friends the terrible news I returned to the task at hand.  I coasted through a couple dozen profiles until I came upon it. 

Asshole’s bio.   

I could taste vomit in my mouth.  The A-hole that I told Old Boss not to hire and that I hoped was homeless and living in suburban station is now someone I have to avoid on the elevator.

Maybe my mother is right and my list of rules exists solely so I never have to get seriously involved with anyone.  And maybe my cosmic retribution for throwing away a-hole’s resume is that I now have to work with him.  But maybe, just maybe there is a Twilight Zone Twist here and I have created this law firm where I work by typing on this computer. 

This could either mark the start of something very interesting or the beginning of the end.    After all, if I do have some power, there is no way it won’t go straight to my head. 



  1. Amy said,

    Hey – I love your blog. Are you talking about “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” It was on Nickelodeon on Friday’s growing up. Pretty sure I wet the bed every Friday night because of it.

  2. Oh my goodness that’s it. That’s awesome. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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