October 19, 2006

Okay, Here’s the Plan

Posted in Office Hijinks at 6:25 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

Readers, I’m afraid. 

 

We live in very scary times when bigwigs in corporate America feel they can hire and fire a person because they have a unhealthy lifestyle in the name of reducing health care costs.  If the head honchos can dictate whether or not we smoke in our free time, how long until they start telling us what else we can or can’t do after five p.m.

Specifically, how long until they refuse to allow us to watch LOST in an effort to increase productivity on Thursday mornings. 

I forgot about it over the summer.  Every morning I came in, put my bag down said hello to the girls around me and then off to work.  But now that LOST is back, all that has changed. And it isn’t just about catching up with the two or three girls nearby.  One of the girls notoriously comes in late.  Sometimes we wait for her, but most times we just fill her in when she finally does show. 

After our short, early morning office chat, we are all off to our respective cubicles to research what each other said, check the chat lines, email other friends to see what they got.  By the time coffee break comes around, we need another pow wow. Meanwhile we are so caught up in what the significance is of Henry Gale aka Ben and Juliette being ex husband and wife that we don’t notice the Managing Partner walking by for the fourth time. 

But let me tell you, he noticed.  He noticed that we were standing around talking about people he has never heard of in situations he doesn’t recall receiving a summary on, and all the while phones are going unanswered. I suppose it would be almost excusable if it were just the assistants, but his third time by he counted associates in that group and his eyes went wide with dollar signs.  After all, I doubt he can bill ABC for the time spent figuring out who the kid in the other cage is.

This is why I am asking, damnit begging, that we take the necessary, proactive measures to keep management from taking our LOST away.  No, I am not about to suggest we self-correct and stop talking about LOST when we should be researching the Class Action Fairness Act.  Oh, no I’m talking undercover operations.

I’m telling you when you walk over to your friend’s office to find out if she was able to get anything off of the Hanso site, you bring a redwell with you.  Friend, make sure you have the LEXIS site up as well as the site with all the LOST theories. This may also be a good time for you to get in good with your IT department since they are the ones that are going to report any strange internet surfing.  Finally, if you must talk about the show in the open, use code names based on open and active files.

And don’t think for a minute that just because you don’t watch LOST this won’t affect you.  Because once they take LOST others will follow.  Soon you too will be outlawed from watching shows such as the Shield or 24.  No more American Idol or Amazing Race results to discuss.  No, all interesting and conversation-worthy TV will be banned and instead you will be forced to watch uninteresting, non-provocative programming like Fox News.

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2 Comments »

  1. MarieMG said,

    Excellent post, and I know just where you’re coming from. Wednesday nights at our house are pizza for dinner and don’t-bother-mommy night because LOST and Project Runway come one back to back!

  2. kjs said,

    Hilarious!


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