August 4, 2006

They Shoot Non-Attorneys Here, Don’t They?

Posted in Happy Hour at 8:28 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

Last week I got a chance to meet my public at the YL Happy Hour Event at Davio’s, and I must admit I was a bit nervous leading up to the event.  As the day drew closer and more and more people joked with me about my celebrity status at this event, I started to choke on the fear that I was going to be found out.  See, readers, dear readers, I have a confession to make.  Something most of you may find quite shocking – I am not very funny in person.

In person, I am nervous and anxious and borderline neurotic because I am so afraid of saying the wrong thing or being perceived as bitchy or unprofessional or worse.  In the flesh, when I tell a story, it often goes on and on with lots of twists and turns and ” back to my point” to the point where I completely lose focus and the anecdote ends with “you probably had to be there.”

Sometimes I think I actually invented that phrase.

Friends often remark once I have finished telling a story, “that probably would have been really funny if you wrote it down.”

So the idea of meeting people that presumably find my writing funny and the knowledge that I am not that funny in person was enough to make me question whether or not I really wanted to attend this event.

Worse, these individuals that find me funny are attorneys.  I mostly make fun of attorneys and attorneys notoriously don’t like outsiders.

I got in the elevator to the penthouse with four male attorneys.  I stood in the back with my head down, but I could see the sideways glances.  Others, with a surer sense of self may think that these guys recognized my photo, but not me.  I knew that they knew.  They could sense it.  I was not one of them.  I did not belong at the happy hour for young lawyers because I was not a young lawyer. But all of that was forgotten when we stepped off the elevator and they were left to write their names on a sticker while I retrieved my pre-fabricated badge.

I entered the room and surveyed the situation.  I wasn’t scoping the room for myself; remember, I don’t date attorneys. But I am considering starting a sideline business as a matchmaker and thus was looking for potential guys to hook up with my fantastic friends.

The four attorneys I rode up with in the elevator were out, as they clearly had a problem with all non-attorney types and thus were not good enough for any of my friends, even my attorney friends.  However, the room showed a lot of promise.

Of course there were exceptions.  And as my life would have it, I only got around to talking to the exceptions.  Standing with my friends from the oldest law firm in the city, Tom Wolfe, with his big glasses and his scotch on the rocks, approached and in the middle of my sentence interrupted me to ask. “Are you an attorney?”

I could see what he was thinking even before he asked the question.  I responded honestly, shaking my head.

He raised his eyebrow and turned his attention to my attorney friends.

Now, see unedited Sarah would have gone on to point out that he was not young and walked away. Instead I stood there holding back laughter as Mr. Wolfe complimented my two friends and then insisted on having his picture taken with them.  See, sometimes it pays to not have gone to law school.

I was disappointed that I only seemed to have one uber-fan.  An older gentleman, who wasn’t an attorney either, approached me when I first walked in and told me he looked forward to the comic relief my blog brought him every week.

Still, I count the event as a resounding success.  I only had to skirt a couple of questions about the where I work and the true identity of the individuals in my blog.  I didn’t do anything to embarrass myself, my friends or my family and the food was freaking’ phenomenal.  You have not lived until you have had a cheesteak spring roll.

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1 Comment »

  1. […] They Shoot Non-Attorneys Here, Don’t They? […]


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