July 20, 2006

I Pity The Fool That Tells Me To Smile

Posted in Office Hijinks at 6:28 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

I was born with a most heinous affliction; a very expressive face.  My face hides nothing and I have little control over it.  When I am happy, there’s no need to clap my hands, my face shows it.  If I am upset, everybody knows it.  When someone walks by with bad hair or bad shoes or a really bad outfit, my friends remark, “Oh my god I smell it too,” since I have trouble remembering that other people can see my face.   

Also, my “displeasure” face looks a lot like my “something smells awful” face. 

Now, as a child, I was pretty happy.  I had friends and a nice home, a mom and a dad that loved me and a dog.  My sister was sometimes mean to me and I could have done without my little brother growing up, but like I said, it was a happy childhood.  So, for the most part I was smiling. 

Unfortunately, my parents couldn’t predict that I would have such an expressive face; for if they could I am sure they wouldn’t have named me Sarah, and thus dooming me to spend the rest of my life having people sing to me, often off-key, “Sara, smile.”  For those of you who have never heard this Hall and Oats ditty, consider yourselves lucky. 

After hearing the 47th or so old man sing this to me, or maybe it was just after the 63rd person referred to me as Sara Smile, this Sarah’s smile started to fade.  Not smiling only made it worse.  People started singing “oh won’t you smile awhile for me, Sara?”  Again, off-key.   

Almost 28 years later and I hate smiling. I think smiling is stupid. I think people that smile all the time are stupid.  Smiling is not my favorite.  So when my boss told me I had to smile more during the day, I thought I was going to knock in his teeth. 

My boss and I often have afternoon pow-wows.  We review what has gone out, what needs to get done, how his search for the latest gizmo is going and what is new in my love life.  Our meeting of the minds was nearing its end, and as such I got up to go when Senor Creepy, with a smile that could turn small children into stone, walked in, put his arm around my shoulders and asked how I was doing.   

Without waiting for a response he turned his attention to my boss and started updating him on a case.  My back straightened and Senor Creepy removed his arm from around my shoulders.  He finished giving his report and left the office. 

My boss looked at me and said, “You are going to have to try not to look like you want to punch him every time you see him.” 

I have long given up on lying to cover up my facial expression.  So instead I responded, “But I do want to punch him every time I see him.” 

“Close the door.” 

That is when I got the speech that I needed to look like I wanted to be here and when I saw Senor Creepy I had to pretend not to hate him. Apparently they had a pow-wow or two of their own and Senor’s feelings were hurt and he was feeling a little left out. 

I hadn’t felt that ridiculous since high school when my mother told me I had to thinkabout going to the prom with this kid who was going to call me to ask me even though I already made plans to spend that day and weekend at the shore with my college friends.  I really like my boss and would do almost anything for him, but hiding the disgust and disappointment on my face is impossible.  I contemplated giving him the phone numbers of guys that could verify this very fact for him, but since my boss thinks of himself as a sort of father figure to me, I thought this might be a bit inappropriate considering who would be on that list. 

So instead I said I would try.  And I am trying, despite the fact that I think people who smile all the time are stupid and my forced smile is causing co-workers to come up to me and ask, “is something wrong?”  

Not to mention it is giving me wrinkles.

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9 Comments »

  1. thereverseside said,

    If it was the touching that caused that reaction, that’s bs. Im a guy, and I learned a long time ago, keep the hands off, no matter what the reason.

    If his mere presence elicits the “face”, mmm…that might be a problem.

    I have the same inablilty to mask my true feelings about people sometimes…

    Interesting, though. I live in Japan, and my “deep thinking” face scares all my friends here. I guess it is a little demonic.

    Good Luck!

  2. I’m glad to hear (er, read) that I am not the only one suffering with Inverse Poker Face Syndrome. Maybe we can get a group together and create a foundation to find a cure for this affliction.

    In the meantime, thanks for reading and commenting and say hello to Japan for me.

  3. Very interesting site… I wish I could build one like yours!nancy

  4. miley said,

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  5. vuzogicafoj said,

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  6. vqifil said,

    Then it or at the other hand famosas nuas mulheres atrizes was.

  7. ofwykl said,

    Sure id thought about kendra wilkinson pics what you saw after your bottom, but the.

  8. pogxixq said,

    Smack. Oh, vanessa hudgens tits because he moved both hands. Theres nobody. Inc incest. Folding the island.


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