July 6, 2006

Drunken Dials and Democracy – Let Freedom Ring

Posted in Office Hijinks at 5:56 pm by devilwearsbrooksbrothers

Over the weekend friends and I decided that the Declaration of Independence was really nothing more than a predecessor to the drunken dial.  Imagine our founding fathers sitting around City Tavern laughing, drinking and talking smack on King George.  I picture Thomas Jefferson, or TJ as I am sure the boys called him, standing up and saying, “That m-effer is out of his g-d mind.   And you know what, I am going to write him a letter telling him exactly what we all think about him.” 

Then everyone cheers and Ben Franklin orders another round as TJ starts writing and before you know it a messenger is sent for, the document is signed by all and Franklin is ordering another round, this time of shots, for the house. 

Because my life is so boring, and I have a very vivid fantasy life, I went on to picture TJ waking up the next morning in some hotel room with a wicked hangover and just fragments of memory about the evening.  As he pieces things together, he remembers the letter, the messenger and the inalienable truths, rushes out of the hotel to get the letter back only to learn, that the messenger had taken the urgency and immediacy of the men to heart and the letter was already on its way to jolly ole’ England.

And while yes, the drunken declaration turned out okay in the end, I fear its current incarnation, the drunken dial, the drunken text or the drunken email doesn’t always work out so well.

A member of my editorial committee was busy drunken dialing and texting all of her friends in her phonebook this past Saturday during her sixty-plus block walk home from the bar down the shore.  And while she won’t admit to anything heinous coming from it, she did wake up the next morning dreading the fact that eventually she would have to look at her cell phone and assess the damage she had done.

However, there are still times when a drunken dial can save your derriere in a manner of speaking.

That very same member of my editorial committee went on to tell a story of a friend who couldn’t stand one of her co-workers.  When this friend learned that her co-worker had failed the bar for the third time, instead of secretly seething on the inside, or laughing obnoxiously on the outside, this friend decided it would be funny and appropriate to send the co-worker a mass card.

Oddly, the co-worker found this neither funny nor appropriate, management got involved and when the friend returned from vacation she was confronted about the email.  Her response was “I was on vacation and I was drinking a lot and having a lot of sex with a lot of strange men and,” she shrugged her shoulders. 

She still has her job.

Now, as future managing partners you may one day have to deal with this excuse. I can’t imagine it will be very often, but still.  I cannot begin to think how I would have responded.  I may have just shrugged my shoulders as well.  I mean we have all been there, right?

I’m just grateful our founding father’s didn’t think to tell the truth when King George came marching in with his boys in redcoats. 


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